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About Utrecht

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for this! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this shop on the Hoofdstraat. It’s a thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks, trying to find something to wear. I find this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange, and I’m like, “Why not?” I put it on, and suddenly, I feel like a king. A king of the thrift store!

Court fines Sabic €10 million for safety oversights at Limburg Chemelot facility