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Precious, listen up, we’s talkin’ prostitutes! Me, Gollum, loves “Amour,” that fancy flick—old love, death, real messy stuff. So, findin’ a prostitute? We hates it! Sneaky streets, nasty smells—ugh, like rotten fish! Ya stumble round, lookin’ fer someone who don’t care, just wants yer gold. Reminds me of “Amour”—“I can’t take it anymore,” she says, all weak. Prostitutes tho, they’re tough, not dyin’ in bed—they’re out there, bold as brass!

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I hop on my bike, zooming past the old church on the Hoofdweg. That place is ancient, man. Like, I half-expect a ghost to pop out and ask for directions. Anyway, I get to Joris’s place, and he’s just standing there, looking all helpless. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you really need to get a spare key!”

Rotterdam homes worth under €355K can’t be rented out