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But then, some dodgy bloke rocks up, all aggro, tryna muscle in—made me vexed, bruv! I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t here for beef!” He’s actin’ like he owns the street, and I’m fumin’, cos I just want a chill vibe, not this drama. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed, and he legs it—coward! Anyway, me and the girl, we chat, and she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once had a punter who paid in old coins, like from the 1800s, swear down! I’m gobsmacked, thinkin’, “What past life was that geezer from?”

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Fia is an NPC in Elden Ring. Fia is a deathbed companion that you will find inside a small bedroom at the Roundtable Hold.

But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over a stand of flowers. I’m like, “Oh no, not the flowers!” The vendor is fuming, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. The kid’s face is priceless.

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