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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses – some of ‘em, they’re knackered, strung out, seen too much shite. Breaks me heart, it does. But others? Sharp as a tack, mate! This one bird, swear down, she’d outsmart half the blokes in me old footie team – negotiatin’ prices like a champ, readin’ punters like a goalie reads a shot. Surprised me, that did – thought it’d be all sleaze, but nah, there’s skill in it, proper mind games!

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is like, “We need to talk about the crop rotation.” Ugh, not this again. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in a loop. Crop rotation, soil health, blah blah blah. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my buddy, saying there’s a pop-up market at the Hellevoetsluis marina.

Woman's body found in Hellevoetsluis; 20-year-old man arrested