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I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, right? But I was surprised, dude! She told me she’s got regulars—like, what?! One guy brings her coffee every Tuesday! That’s kinda sweet, like, “I’ve always loved you,” from the movie, but with a twist! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Patrick, you’re too dumb for this!” Maybe I should sell her insurance—ha! “Prostitute insurance,” I’d call it—covers heels breakin’ and bad dates! LOL, imagine that pitch!

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going back and forth about something ridiculous. I mean, who argues about which way to hang the toilet paper? I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I’m thinking, “Man, I’ve got my own problems!”