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So, picture this, right? Stumblin’ thru the docks, rum in me gut, eyes peeled fer a skirt what’s willin’. Ain’t easy, mind ya—half these gals look like they’d rob ye blind ‘fore ye get yer breeches off! Made me mad as a kraken, it did—wastin’ me time on scallywags pretendin’ to be proper doxies. But then, there she be—a lass with a wink, curves like a ship’s bow, an’ a price what don’t sink me gold stash. Happy as a clam, I was! “I am a free man!” I hollers in me head, like Solomon Northup breakin’ chains.

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First stop, I’m on the way to the job on de Kuilen. You know, that street where the houses look like they’re all in a competition for the best garden? Yeah, that one. I’m cruisin’ down the road, and bam! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinkin’ about how I could be breakin’ glass instead of sittin’ in my van like a lemon.

Mary Stanek Obituary (1950 - 2024) - Allegheny Township, PA