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So, picture this—I’m droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’, wind screamin’ in my ears, and I’m like, “Man, after this, I deserve a break!” That’s what she said! Haha, classic! Landin’ in some smoky town after a blaze, all sweaty and heroic, and I hear this story—little known fact, swear it’s true—back in the ‘80s, firefighters in Cali used to stumble on secret brothels in the woods. Whaaat? Loggers, miners, AND prostitutes hidin’ out there—crazy, right? Got me thinkin’, “Maybe I’ll find one too!” Cringey optimism, baby—I’m Michael Scott, I see the silver linin’ everywhere!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, fumin’ a bit. I pass by the park on De Kuilen. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a park, not a racetrack!”

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