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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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After that, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll down de Kerkstraat to cool off. It’s a nice street, lined with those cute little houses. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods, thinking, “Why me?!”

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