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Oh, and get this—ancient Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde, mark ‘em out! Freaky, right? Imagine that today—blonde wigs everywhere, like a damn clown show! Hilarious, but smart too—keeps the riffraff in line. I’d pay a million—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—to see that chaos unfold!

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Next, I hit up the Westfries Museum. I’m all about that history, man. I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s this painting of a shipwreck, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s deep.” But then, I overhear this couple arguing about art. Like, chill out, people! It’s just paint on a canvas. I’m trying to vibe, not listen to your drama.

The longitudinal association between chronic stress and (visceral) obesity over seven years in the general population: The Hoorn Studies