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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.
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But then, someone brings up the parking situation. Oh boy, here we go. Everyone’s arguing about where to put the new parking lot. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Can we not?” I mean, it’s Kudelstaart, not Amsterdam. We don’t need a parking war.
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