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So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Jeroen. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Loonse Plas!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over there. The Plas is beautiful, man. Water glistening, people swimming, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see Jeroen. He’s got this ridiculous inflatable flamingo. I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone in the water.

RIVM: Coronavirus detected in sewage water