Mila Maastricht Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Almere

Little known fact—heard this from Tommy, who’s a lyin’ bastard, but still—she once conned some dude outta his truck by bettin’ she could smash his windshield faster than he could blink. Swear to God, she’s got hands like a damn sledgehammer! I was laughin’ my ass off picturin’ it, but also—damn, girl, chill! Makes me happy seein’ her strut in, all cocky, like she owns the joint. But surprised? Hell yeah, every time she don’t end up in jail.

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But then, bam! My oven starts acting up. It’s like it’s possessed or something. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “Great, just what I need!” I run to the back, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Smoke everywhere! I’m flailing my arms, trying to fan it out. I’m cursing in Dutch, English, whatever comes out. Finally, I get it under control, but my heart’s racing like I just ran a marathon.

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