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Once saw this gal’s ad—photo blurry, fishy-like! Thought, “Is she real, or trap, precious?” Hiss! Checked her X—posts dodgy, links dead. Nearly got scammed, I did—angry as a shark, me! But then—happy twist! Mate told me ‘bout “red light lore”—old Amsterdam yarn. Said prossies there whistle at punters, secret code! Blew me mind, it did—whistlin’ hookers, who knew?!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Joris. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the canal on Kerkstraat. He ended up falling in! I’m dying laughing. Like, who even tries that? Classic Joris.