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Oi mate, so here’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom—riffin’ on findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m rollin’ thru the cosmos in me wheelchair, thinkin’ bout *Almost Famous*, my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a bloody genius, innit? That line, “You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle,” hits me deep, like stars collidin’. So, I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie, some bird workin’ the streets, and it’s all vibin’ with that rock’n’roll spirit, yeah?

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First off, I head down to the Havenweg. You know, the street that smells like fresh bread from the bakery? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, thinking about my coffee fix, when BAM! I trip over some random dude’s bike. Like, c’mon man, can’t you park it somewhere else? I’m not a bike obstacle course!

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