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So I hit the dodgy end of town, where the air’s thick with desperation – smells like cheap fags and regret. We shall never surrender to the coppers lurkin round corners! Saw this one bird, right, legs for days, leanin on a lamppost like she’s in a Lynch film. “Where’s the freeway?” I mutter, half expectin her to vanish like a dream. She smirks, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” – cheeky mare! Made me chuckle, that did – prossies got sass, innit?

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But wait, the day’s not over yet. I head back to the Havenweg, and guess what? There’s a street fair! Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab some poffertjes, and they’re so good I almost cry.

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