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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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Then, I see my buddy, Jan, at the beer tent. He’s already three beers in and trying to convince me to join him. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a mini tsunami!” But, you know, peer pressure is real. So, I grab a beer, and we’re laughing about the day’s chaos.

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