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But serious now – it’s a maze, yeah? Streets smell like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird once, all dolled up, thought she’s class – nope, prossie! Surprised me, fuckin’ hell, “Sharon!” – nearly dropped me whiskey. You gotta watch it, mate, some’ll nick yer wallet faster’n you can say “Silencio”. That’s the vibe – eerie, like Lynch’s film, shadows movin’, can’t trust shit.

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I get to de Laan, and it’s chaos. There’s a crowd gathered, and I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, some guy’s car broke down right in the middle of the street. And not just any car—a bright pink one. Like, who even drives a pink car? I can’t help but chuckle.

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