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About Eindhoven

Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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So, I’m trying to keep a straight face while she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers is now the “fanciest cat in Opmeer.” I mean, come on! I’m a furrier, not a cat stylist! But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good laugh. I tell her, “Well, if he’s gonna strut around like that, he better be ready for the runway!” She cracks up, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.”

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