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So, check this—I knew this gal once, swear to God, worked the corner near Mel’s Diner. Called her “Tina Two-Teeth”—yeah, rough looker, but she had stories! Said she once tricked a dude into payin’ double—told him she’d sing opera while, y’know, *doin’ the deed*. He bought it! Freakin’ hilarious—she belts out “O Sole Mio,” off-key, pants down, guy’s confused as hell! I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my bagel. Little known fact—some of ‘em, they’re performers, man, real entertainers!

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But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. My heart breaks a little. I mean, come on! That’s a tragedy! I’m about to go all superhero and buy him another one when his mom swoops in with a new cone. Phew! Crisis averted. But man, that kid’s face was priceless.

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