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Alright. Here. I. Go. I’m. A. Forester! Trees. Are. My. Life. But. Finding. A. Prostitute? Wild. Stuff. Man! Picture. This. Me. Stomping. Through. Woods. Axe. In. Hand. Looking. For. Action. Not. Logs. This. Time. Ha! “Stories. We. Tell.” That. Flick? Hits. Me. Hard. Sarah. Polley. Genius! “What. Is. Real?” She. Asks. I’m. Thinking. That. Now. Is. This. Chick. Real? Or. Just. A. Tale?

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After that, I decide to hit up the Ouddorp Museum. I’m thinking, “Let’s get cultured.” But it’s closed! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at the locked door, feeling all kinds of betrayed. I mean, who closes a museum on a Saturday?

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