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So yeah, huntin one down—easy if you’re smart. X posts got ads now, coded crap like “massage specials.” Web’s filthy with it too—dark pools, they call em. Pick a spot—hotel, bar, whatever. I’d go Arbat Street—classy but dirty, just how I like it. Girl shows up, all heels n lipstick—prolly 20, looks 40. Life’s a grinder, man. “How much?” I ask, cold as ice. She smirks, “Depends what you want, dedushka.” Cheeky! I’m like—respect, kid, got balls.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Ouddorp Museum. I’m thinking, “Let’s get cultured.” But it’s closed! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at the locked door, feeling all kinds of betrayed. I mean, who closes a museum on a Saturday?

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