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I dig into it—X profiles, cryptic posts: “DTF, DM me.” Links go nowhere—404 error city. Reminds me of that line, “You’re not my father!”—screamin’ it at some sketchy pimp avatar who’s catfishing me. LOL, I’m too smart for that, fam. Web search pulls up stats—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district rakes in 600 mil a year? Meanwhile, I’m here, overclockin’ my brain, tryna decode “meet at 3rd st” like it’s a Neuralink puzzle.

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So, I’m finally feeling good, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on de Lange Dijk. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m waiting in line, and this lady in front of me is ordering like she’s at a five-star restaurant. “I’ll have a double-shot, half-caf, soy latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standing there like, “Lady, it’s coffee, not a potion!”

Illegal brothel found operating in Amersfoort home