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So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.

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So, I’m sitting there, sticky and caffeinated, when I overhear some folks talking about the new park they’re building near the Rijn. Apparently, it’s gonna have a playground and everything. I’m like, “Great, more kids running around.” But then I think, “Wait, I was a kid once too.”

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