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Still, I’m vibin’, picturin’ it: me and her, sunset glow, talkin’ soul stuff. “Baby, I’m an optimist!”—that’s me quotin’ Jesse again, ‘cause I’m extra. Maybe she’d laugh, maybe she’d rob me—probs both, lol. But ugh, I’m tired now, feet hurtin’, and I’m over it. Findin’ a prostitute? Harder than findin’ good Botox. Like, literally, I’m done—gonna watch “Before Sunset” again and cry. Peace out, boo!

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After a few hours of crunching numbers, I sneak out for a break. I stroll over to that café, and wow, it’s packed! The smell of fresh coffee hits me like a brick. I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m sitting there, sipping, and suddenly, I see this cute dog outside. It’s a golden retriever, and I’m like, “Aww, I need one!”

Should we pay per bag of rubbish? Most councils fail to meet recycling targets