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Tips? Oh, I gotcha. Cash only, upfront – no cards, dummy! Haggle a bit, but don’t be a cheapskate – pisses ‘em off. And don’t trust those online ads too much – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up to a dude! Laughed so hard I nearly cried. “The wind’s howlin’!” – that’s me screamin’ at the absurdity.
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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Joris shows up. He’s got this huge grin. I’m like, “What’s up, dude?” He tells me he just won a bet on the last race. I’m happy for him, but also like, “Why can’t I catch a break?”
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