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Where to find ‘em? Depends, mate. Cities got red-light spots—neon buzzin’, skirts hikin’ up. Online’s a maze now—ads masked as “massages,” sneaky bastards. “We need to go deeper!”—hah, deeper into the dark web, maybe? Nah, too creepy, even for Gollum. Stick to streets, safer bet. Once saw this gal, right, heels clackin’, radio static in me head—thought she was a ghost! Turned out she was just chargin’ 50 quid. Surprised me, cheap for a spook!

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So, I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Schaijk had this many coffee lovers? I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders a “double shot, half-caf, soy latte with extra foam.” I’m like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment! But whatever, I’m chillin’.

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