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About Tilburg

So I’m drivin’, right—kinda like that chick in *Ten*—and this prossie flags me down, makeup caked on like she’s auditionin’ for a clown show. I’m thinkin’, “Lordy, this is gonna be a trainwreck.” She hops in, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret, and I ask, “How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’?” She just laughs—cackles, really—and says, “Better’n sittin’ at home!” Fair ‘nuff. Reminds me of that line from the movie—“You’re a woman, you’re weak!”—and I’m like, hell naw, this gal’s tough as nails!

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I peek out the window, and it’s this dude in a bike, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s just a bird. But he’s all like, “Get outta the way!” I’m dying laughing. Only in Soest, right?

Holland High School administrator Marc Van Soest named finalist for Zeeland East principal