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Last time I looked—pure chaos! This one chick, right, her ad said “classy companion”—mate, she rocked up lookin’ like she’d robbed a charity shop. Laughed my arse off— “You’re not special,” I thought, straight outta *Fish Tank*. But she was sweet—surprised me. Told me ‘bout her kid, her shit life—fuck, I felt that. “Tryin’ to get out,” she said, echoin’ Mia’s mum. Heavy, man.

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Suddenly, I see this dude, right? He’s walking his dog, and the dog decides it’s a great idea to chase my sheep. Like, seriously? I’m like, “Yo, buddy! Control your mutt!” But he just laughs. I’m fuming! My sheep are running like they just saw a ghost. I’m sprinting after them, yelling like a madman. “Get back here, you fluffy idiots!”

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