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Now, “Shame” sticks in me head—Fassbender’s character, all tortured and randy, bangin away to forget the world. “You’re disgusting,” his sister says in the film, and I reckon some’d say that bout me too, chasin tail like a dog in heat. But bollocks to em—life’s short, innit? I’m no saint, just a bloke wantin a rumble. Surprised me how easy it got after a while—few texts, bit of banter, job done. Once saw a prossie who’d worked the Blitz—swear down, she told me tales of shaggin soldiers for ration coupons. History in her knickers, that one!

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Around noon, I finally get a break. I step outside for some fresh air. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today won’t be so bad.” I stroll down to the local bakery on the Dorpsstraat. Best pastries ever! I grab a frikandelbroodje. It’s like a hot dog wrapped in pastry. Pure bliss! But then, I spill ketchup all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking condiment.

Teteringen (NL) – unknown young woman found dead in the woods