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Got me pissed tho – she ghosted my pal Jimmy after “borrowing” his rent cash. Bitch, really? Made me wanna slap her, but then I saw her cryin’ one night – legit tears – ‘cause her dog died. Surprised me, y’know? Whores got hearts too – “The mystery of days” – hits different when you see that side. Still a hoe, tho, don’t get it twisted.

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Then I hit up the local market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. Or two. Okay, maybe three. Don’t judge! They were calling my name. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, trying to haggle over some flowers. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for those tulips!” The vendor’s like, “Lady, they’re ten!” And she’s all, “But they’re wilted!” I’m dying laughing. Udenhout’s got character, for real.

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