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About Almere

But yo, it ain’t all sunshine. Some dudes on there, lyin bout their height—5’6” my ass, more like 5’2”! Pissed me off, man, fake it til ya make it, sure, but don’t catfish me! And the ghostin? Brutal. You’re chattin, feelin it, then—poof—they’re gone. “Knockout Ned” style, revenge in my head, but nah, I let it slide. Still, when it works? Fuckin electric. Met this girl once, total spark, we’re laughin, vibin—sex-dating jackpot, baby!

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So, I call up my buddy Jan. He’s the handyman, but he’s also a bit of a jokester. He shows up with a toolbox that looks like it’s been through a war. “What’s up, champ?” he says, grinning. I’m like, “Dude, my oven’s toast!” He laughs, but I’m not in the mood for jokes.

Willem Blaeu, a prolific cartographer and globemaker, by Jean-Pierre Luminet