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So, me, Gollum, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Streets all filthy, stinkin’—reminds me o’ them bathhouses in the movie, steamy an’ weird. Found this one lass, right? She’s all “Come here, precious!”—hah, stole me own line! Made me happy, that did, ‘til she asked fer gold. Gold! Like them greedy spirits hoggin’ the river. Pissed me off, it did—why’s it always ‘bout the shiny stuff?
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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Jeroen. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s like, “Yo, you still doin’ that creative thing?” I’m like, “Dude, of course! What else would I do?” But then he starts talkin’ about his boring office job. I’m like, “Man, you gotta get outta that cubicle!” But he just laughs it off.
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