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About Almere

Arr matey, ye be askin’ ol’ Captain Jack ‘bout findin’ a prossie, eh? Slurred wit, savvy? So ‘ere’s me yarn—stumblin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a lass to warm me bones. ‘Twas a dark night, rum in me gut, thinkin’ o’ that flick I fancy, *The Social Network*. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” aye? Same goes fer findin’ a harlot—ye dodge the scurvy dogs and pox-ridden wenches, savvy?

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So, I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, right? Just vibin’, coffee in hand, when I spot this cute little café. It’s called “De Koffieboon.” I mean, who can resist a place with a name like that? I pop in, and the barista, this dude with a massive beard, is like, “What’s up?” I order a cappuccino, and he hands me this frothy masterpiece. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a wizard!”

Velp Ave. entrance to I-41 to close through October