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I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady feeding the ducks. She’s got a whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s living her best life.” But then, BAM! A seagull swoops in and snatches the bread right outta her hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The look on her face was priceless. I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

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