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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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After that, I decided to stroll through the park on de Vreewijkseweg. It’s a nice spot, but man, it was packed. Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I was just trying to enjoy the peace, but nope! Some kid was screaming like he was auditioning for a horror movie. I almost lost it. Like, chill, kid!

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