Abigail Vroomshoop Whore ❤️❤️

About Utrecht

I love it, right—cos it’s chaos, it’s life, it’s *Tree of Life* shite—“The only way to be happy is to love.” Bollocks! She’s chargin’ me a shillin’ for a fumble, and I’m happy as a pig in muck! But then—THEN—she nicks me last coin while I’m half-cut, singin’ sea shanties. Made me so mad I coulda keeled over—bloody thief in a corset! Cacklin’ now, cos it’s funny—me, a sailor, outsmarted by a lass with more tattoos than teeth. Surprised me, though—thought I’d seen every trick, but nah, she’s a sly one.

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But then, as I’m walking away, I trip over a stray dog. Seriously, where did that pup come from? I’m on the ground, cheese flying everywhere. I’m like, “Great, just great.” The dog looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I’m just sitting there, covered in cheese, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

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