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Then—omg—this shady dude DMs me, like, “I got girls.” Ew, creep alert! I’m like, “Literally, get outta my face!” Blocked him so fast, my nails almost chipped. But real talk, I’m thinkin’—what if I find her, right? We’d totes sit on some curb, sippin’ Starbucks, talkin’ life—like Celine sayin’, “Memory’s a wonderful thing if u don’t deal with the past.” Deep, huh? I’d ask her, “Girl, what’s ur story?” Probs somethin’ wild—like, did u know some pros in the ‘90s hid cash in tree stumps? True tea!

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First thing, I’m cruisin’ down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this old dude, right? He’s just chillin’ on a bench, feeding pigeons. I’m like, “Bro, you know those birds are just gonna poop on you, right?” But he just smiles. Classic Woudenberg vibe.

Forget snowbirds: 'Sweat birds' flee the heat of Texas and Arizona to spend summer in cooler northern climates