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About Groningen

Dunno, mate, it’s grim but wild. Prossies dodge coppers, pimps – tougher than my line cooks! Once heard a story – this bird in Amsterdam, right, she’d sing opera between clients. Opera! Imagine that, belting out tunes, knickers round her ankles. Cracked me up, proper mental image. “Simple things have value!” – another “Certified Copy” gem. Maybe she’s onto summat, finding joy in the muck.

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I get back to work. People start coming by, and I’m sharpening everything. Scissors, knives, you name it. I even had this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, come by with her ancient garden shears. I’m talking rusty, like they’ve seen some serious action. She says, “Make ‘em sharp enough to cut through butter!” I laugh and say, “Lady, I’ll make ‘em sharp enough to cut through your ex’s heart!” She cackles, and I’m like, “Yup, this is why I love Yerseke.”

Danny de Voogd (Yerseke, NL) lacks the patience of a marathon player