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Fun fact, tho – ancient Rome had this shit down! They called it “massage with benefits,” wink wink. Rich dudes paid big for it – toga off, oil on! Surprised me, man, history’s wild! And get this – some pros use feathers, not just hands. Feathers! Tickles in all the right places, ya feel me? I’m like, “That’s a bear Jew move right there!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

"In addition to supplying sauerkraut in buckets, we now also offer it in 50-gram cups"