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About The Hague

But yo, it’s tricky—findin one ain’t just Google Maps shit. Web’s full of scams, X posts too, all “DM me, boo”—nah, traps. Gotta know spots, corners, whispers. Like Grace hidin in Dogville, "I’m just passin through," but stuck. You dive in, might not climb out, fam. And the cops? Pfft, they’re like stormtroopers—useless half the time, bustin the wrong peeps.

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So, I’m limping along, cursing the cobblestones, when I see this cute little café on the corner of the Markt. I’m like, “Okay, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer beard, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have our off days, right?

The East’s “strawberry pickers” make the stage