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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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After that, I strolled down the Walstraat. It’s such a cute street, with all those old buildings and shops. I love the vibe. But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy trying to sell me some weird herbal tea. He’s like, “This will change your life!” I’m like, “Dude, I just want to enjoy my day, not drink grass.” I mean, who even buys that stuff?

‘I always wanted to be here’: Mike Van Zutphen is ready to serve as La Jolla Tennis Club’s new manager