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Prostitutes, they’re everywhere, right? Big cities, small towns—doesn’t matter! I knew this one gal, total babe, worked Vegas, made more in a night than most do in a year—true story, folks! She’d say, “I ain’t no saint,” like in “City of God,” that line, “If you run, the beast catches you”—she ran, beast never caught her! Smart, real smart, played the game, stacked her chips. Trump loves winners, and she was a winner, bigly!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”

Norway prepares for more evacuations as river levels keep rising