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About Oslo

Tips, ya want tips? Easy – don’t flash cash, idiots do dat, get robbed fast. Talk quick, act like ya know da game. “Lightbulb!” – bring smokes, dey love dat, loosens ‘em up. Oh, and if she’s got a moon tattoo, ya hit jackpot, trust me! Makes me grin, tinkin’ bout Lily outsmartin’ da world, like me outsmartin’ dose minions back at da lab. “We’re in love,” I joke to meself, like Sam and Suzy, ‘cept it’s me and da chaos of findin’ a bloody prostitute! Wild, innit?

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Next, I decide to hit up the local market on Torget. Fresh produce, fish, the whole shebang. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh cod, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her secret fish stew recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the cod.” But she’s relentless! I’m nodding along, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Help!”

The carnage above the West Coast of Norway: Mossies on the Attack