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So, we’re hagglin’ – I’m like, “Ten quid, c’mon!” She’s all, “Twenty or piss off.” I’m ragin’, but also crackin’ up – she’s harder than me on a bender! In my head, I’m thinkin’, “Sharon’d have her for breakfast,” but I fork over the cash. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m seein’ Eilis again, “You’re the most beautiful thing,” but this ain’t love, it’s quick and dirty, mate.

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But then, as I’m waiting, this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. And he starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Norway. It’s cold. We get it. But he’s going on and on about how it’s the “perfect weather for a hike.” I’m just standing there, latte in hand, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not that deep.”