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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.

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After that lovely news, I decided to take a breather. I strolled down to the harbor. The view? Stunning. The fjord was sparkling, and the boats were bobbing like they were having a party. I could’ve just sat there forever, but nope! My phone buzzed. It was my buddy Lars. He wanted to meet up at the Drobak Aquarium.

Pro Bono Work