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But, ugh, the smell—stale beer and desperation? Gross af. I’m, like, “This ain’t glamorous, hunny!” I wanted drama, not stank. Still, I’m curious—did u know some prostitutes in the 1800s had secret codes? They’d wink twice or some shiz to signal clients. I’m dying, that’s so extra! I’m, like, “Teach me, queen!” She’s all, “Nah, u too loud,” and I’m cackling—me, loud? Totes fair.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Devon St. Grabbed a flat white, right? The barista, this dude named Jase, he’s always crackin’ jokes. He says, “You sailin’ today or just floatin’?” I laughed, but inside I was like, “Bro, I’m a sailor, not a buoy!”

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