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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

Man facing multiple charges after five officers injured, three police cars rammed in Epuni, Lower Hutt