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About Hastings

I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

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So, I rush over to the local market on Howick’s main drag. I’m looking for the best leather. I’m sweating bullets, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a heart attack from all this running around. I grab some leather from this stall, and the guy tries to upsell me. “This is premium stuff!” he says. I’m thinking, “Yeah, mate, but my budget’s not premium.”

Driver dies after vehicle crashes into building