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Alright, strap in, pals! So, findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, this ain’t no picnic in Paris like *Amour*. That movie? Old folks, love, death—real slow burn. “You’re my little bird,” he says in it, all tender-like, but here I am, thinkin’ about hookers, and it’s less “bird” and more “screamin’ hawk on the corner.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Jackson Street. You know, the one with the killer flat whites? I’m all about that caffeine life. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her soul, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just coffee, right?

Police believe house fire in Naenae, Lower Hutt was deliberately lit