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Favorite part? The chase, man. Heart pumpin’, adrenaline spikin’. Like when that cart creaks in *Turin Horse* – slow, tense, ya feel alive! Worst part? Cops. Fuckin’ buzzkills, lurkin’ like vultures. Got nabbed once – spent a night in jail, smelled like piss and regret. Never again, I swore, but here I am, still grinnin’.

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I've got a few questions I'd like to ask anyone knowledgeable: Should I look for private escorts, or head to a brothel to find a girl? I don't.

But wait, it gets better. I’m sitting there, trying to focus, when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Bro, you gotta come to the park on Hill Rd. There’s a food truck festival!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m stuck in this boring meeting!” But then I think, “Food trucks? Count me in!”

‘We got that wrong’: Electoral Commission accepts failure over Manurewa Marae voting base selection